


alexander lightwood

by Into_darkness18



Series: Shadow Mini-Fics [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Good Parent Maryse Lightwood, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Job offers, M/M, Paris - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-26 04:06:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16674196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Into_darkness18/pseuds/Into_darkness18
Summary: in which alec and magnus take a vacation so alec can decide what he really wants**Set after 2x20





	alexander lightwood

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally written for my wattpad one-shot collection. hate is not welcome here, if you don't like my fic get lost
> 
> i do not own shadowhunters, the cast or the dialogue. all i own is this fic and this idea

Alec paced back and fourth in his office in the new York insitute, hands running through his hair while shaking in irritation, anger and fear. His head was spinning and his mind was overwhelmed with what he was feeling all at once.

"Alec?" A knocked sounded from the door along with the familiar voice of Jace, who didn't wait for Alec to invite him in and pushed the door open. He'd felt Alec's unease quickly bloom into panic through their bond and decided to make sure Alec was okay, now knowing it was the right call as his brother was pacing rapidly. "Woah woah, Alec you need to calm down before you have another panic attack."

In the recent months, Jace has felt Alec go into overdrive and send himself over the edge of what he was mentally able to handle. It wasn't a good feeling for either of them.

"I- i need to get out of here." Alec gasped, his trembling hands pushing past Jace and walking hastily from his office, towards the front entrance of the insitute despite Jace's insistent calls after him. He briefly caught Isabelle's gaze as he sped through the op-centre, ignoring the concerned expressions of a lot of his fellow shadowhunters.

 

 

By the time Alec made it to his apartment he shared with Magnus, the Shadowhunter wasn't sure how he was still standing. Short of breath, Alec fumbled with the lock before practically falling through the door. He caught himself, and shut the door behind him. He didn't think Magnus was home, so when he made it to the couch but fell to sit on the floor instead of the couch, his back against the couch.

"Alexander?" Magnus frowned, crouching beside Alec. Magnus could tell Alec was having trouble catching his breath, and his eyes were clenched shut and his hands were gripping his hair tightly. "Alexander, you need to breathe." It took almost 10 minutes, but by then Magnus had managed to calm Alec down enough to get him to talk. Magnus had sat down beside him, letting Alec sag against him in utter exhaustion.

"What's going on?" Magnus asked and for a moment Magnus wasn't sure Alec was going to answer him.

"Just, sometimes everything catches up with me i guess." Alec murmured. "My mother, she finally accepted me fully this morning. Which was great, but my dad, he couldn't do it. He said he was willing to throw away 23 years of memories away simply because he hates this." Alec weakly gestures between them. Alec shifts his head slightly, and Magnus sits up straighter, letting his boyfriend merely lean against him. "I guess, because my whole life, my parents drilled into me i was never good enough, you know. Doesn't matter how well i did something, they always found a flaw that they were sure was a simple mistake. I hate it." Magnus was surprised by how honest Alec was being about his feelings towards his parents, towards his life in the New York insitute.

"I have a proposition for you." Magnus said suddenly, Alec tilting his head to look up at his boyfriend. "You've been wearing yourself thin for almost a year since you became head of the insitute. From holding together the Downworlder alliance, to everything in between."

"I'm not sure what your getting at." Alec said honestly.

"Take a vacation." Magnus said promptly. "Take 2 weeks, take a month. Hell, take as long as you need to figure out what you need. You have done what everybody else wants from you your whole life, now you need to fully start living your own life." Alec didn't reply, but he knew what Magnus was saying was true.

 

 

2 days later, Alec had finished his formal letter of resignation from his position as head of the insitute. The letter also read he was taking a leave of absence from the shadow world, then he sent it via fire message to his mother who was back in Idris. He knew she would understand his sudden decision to leave, but now he just had to explain it to Jace and Izzy.

"So your leaving?" Isabelle asked. "Just like that?"

"Not just like that." Alec frowned. "It's been a long time coming Isabelle."

"How has it been a long time coming?" Izzy asked in disbelief.

"He's been having panic attacks, Iz." Jace stepped in, saving Alec from his little sister.

"What? Since when?"

"Since i became head of the Institute." Alec admitted. "It's why i'm taking a leave of absence. Magnus has an apartment in Paris, and we're leaving tomorrow morning."

"How long will you be gone?" Izzy asked.

"I'm not sure. As long as it takes for me to get my head on straight i guess." Alec wrapped his arms around Izzy when she did, also pulling Jace into a hug at the same time. "Don't worry about me. Stay safe."

 

 

Alec and Magnus had been in Paris for 2 weeks when he received the first fire message updating him about New York. But Alec couldn't bring himself to open it. He knew it was from Jace, but he'd left his mobile in Brooklyn for a reason. He needed time and space.

"Coffee?" Magnus stepped out onto the balcony that overlooked Paris, the Eiffel tower in the distance. Alec was sitting at a small table, staring at the piece of paper on the table.

"Sure." Alec smiled up at Magnus, kissing him gently as the warlock set down the mug filled with black coffee. "Thank you."

"Is everything okay?" Magnus asked carefully, as if the wrong words could set Alec off.

"Yes, i'm okay, really." Alec still didn't open the letter.

"Are you going to open it?" Magnus said, referring to the letter on the table.

"Nope." Alec shook his head. "I don't want to know what's going. It'll make me," Alec struggled to find the correct word to describe it.

"It will make you feel uneasy." Alec nodded his head.

"I got another letter from my mother." Alec quickly changed the subject, pulling the piece of paper from his pocket. "The Clave has finalized the Downworlder treaty and they're looking for an envoy." Alec sat the letter on the table, sliding it across for Magnus to read it. "Mother said their first choice was me." Magnus looked up from the letter, an eyebrow raised. "I imagine it has something to do with our relationship, but mother had always mentioned how proud she was of the way i managed to rally together the Downworlders and the shadowhunters in a time of crisis."

"Have you made a decision?" Magnus asked, looking up at the Shadowhunter as a warm breeze passed by, the browning leaves of the Autumn season blowing about in the wind.

"Not yet." Alec shook his head. "I want to say yes. But I, I don't think i'm ready for another commitment like that."

"Alexander. You can do anything you put your mind too." Magnus said firmly. "Now, i think that if the Clave thought of you first, then you should take the job, but that's just my opinion."

"What would i do without you?" Alec asked rhetorically, sending Magnus a smile he was pretty sure melted his eyes.

 

 

Alec did end up taking the job, and the couple returned to New York after a month in Paris. Alec and Magnus had officially been together for 2 years, which was why Alec was reluctantly speaking with Clary and Izzy.

"I want to ask Magnus to marry me." Alec told the two girls bluntly, watching their faces light up in excitement. "But, since the rune would send Magnus insane I want to do it the mundane way."

"Oh Alec i'm so happy for you." Izzy squealed, not giving Alec any choice as she wrapped her arms around him, smiling up at her big brother.

"Thanks Iz." Alec said, a small blush colouring his cheeks.

"You want to know about mundane marriage stuff don't you?" Clary asked Alec in clarification. "Alright, first things first, when are you asking him?"

"Tomorrow night." Alec told the two girls. "It's our two year anniversary."

"Okay then. Lets go." Clary got up, and Isabelle grabbed her brothers wrist and dragged him after the Fairchild girl, and Alec figured he was just going to have to go with it.

 

 

Since Alec needed a ring, Clary and Isabelle took him to a jewelers who specialized in custom made rings. While Clary and Isabelle looked at the rings, Alec approached the jeweler.

"Excuse me." The older man looked up, noticing the unease in Alec's face.

"How can i help you?" The old man asked kindly.

"I was hoping you'd be able to fix this." Alec held out his Lightwood signet ring, the ring old and rusted with a small split in the back. "I want to give it to my boyfriend when i ask him to marry me."

"Let me take a look." The old man took the ring from Alec, inspecting it with steady fingers. "Come back in an hour." Alec thanked him before walking over to Isabelle and Clary, who were looking at necklaces.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" Clary asked the oldest Lightwood.

"I did." He confirmed, his eyes catching one necklace in particular. It was a deep blue gemstone that rested in the middle of a diamond shape, and it instantly reminded Alec of Magnus.

 

 

The next evening, Alec trudged into his apartment feeling thoroughly exhausted but satisfied with the day's work. Today he'd finalized the draft that allowed the marriage between Downworlders and shadowhunters officially, and he planned to make the motion official the next day. Alec smiled when he saw the table on the balcony set for dinner, candles and everything.

"Magnus!" Alec called, wondering where the warlock had disappeared to. Magnus stuck his head out of the bedroom, a smile gracing his face.

"Alexander." Magnus smiled, and Alec realized he couldn't wait anymore.

"I need to ask you something." Alec immediately said, and Magnus left the bedroom in favour of approaching his boyfriend.

"You can ask me anything."

"When we met, i was confused, angry, in love with my parabatai and determined to make my parents proud." Alec fumbled over his words nervously. "And it wasn't until you stopped me from making a mistake i would have regretted for the rest of my life, that i knew, you were it for me." Alec knelt down on one knee, Magnus' breath hitched when he saw what his Nephilim was about to do. "So, will you, Magnus Bane, marry me, Alexander Lightwood?" It was silent for a moment, and for a moment Alec didn't think the warlock would reply.

"You know, in all my years of being with men, with women, nobody has ever wanted to commit the rest of their lives to me." Magnus told Alec, who frowned.

"Is that a no?" Alec asked meekly.

"You stupid Nephilim." Magnus dragged Alec into a kiss, pulling back to look into Alec's crystal blue eyes. "Of course i will."


End file.
